It’s hard to believe that my trip that I have been planning for so long begins tomorrow. I’ll be heading to London, Scotland and Ireland for 19 days. I should be excited right? I am excited, very excited but I have another feeling that as the trip draws closer this feeling becomes stronger. The feeling is dread or anxiety of the sort and it stems from leaving my precious munchkins at home.
It’s tough to spend time away from my kids. When Nicholas went to live with my father while I underwent my radiation it was the toughest decision that I EVER had to make. I made the decision doing what was best for Nicholas and I stand by that decision as he never had to see me face radiation or fear that his only parent wouldn’t survive cancer. The day that I put Nicholas in the car to take the trip to Alberta was a very tough day indeed and up to that point in time the longest I had ever been away from him had been for 4 evenings, 5 days when I sent him to Summer camp in grades 4 and 5.
This time I am leaving them both for 19 days. Some might think it’s not a big deal but I love every single aspect of being a mother. Raising Hannah splitting my time with her father has been incredibly tough and with my trip drawing closer I have been spending even more time with her as I will be away from her for almost 3 weeks which is the longest we’ve even been seperated. I’ve spent the last 2 weekends with her and almost all the time during the weekdays. Spending all this uninterrupted time has been soooo precious and I’ve loved every single moment of it- wanting more and more! I’ve been very emotional over leaving my babies.
Last night it dawned on me however that I what I wanted from this trip was to learn more about myself. I wanted to do something for myself and follow my dreams and this is to be my first vacation ever that I have embarked on since becoming a parent at the age of 18 and now being in this parenting game for almost 14 years and I am still only 31. I’ve always known that I am blessed to have 2 incredible children that God sent me to take care of, love and raise but in leaving them I can feel those blessings even more these days…
LOL- Oh I know I am senselessly rambling during this post and probably not making much sense but what I realized last night as I lay snuggled close to my daughter is that what I wanted to gain from this trip has begun before I have even departed.
I’ve prayed for my safe journey during my trip and my safe return to my babies on the 23rd and I want to embrace ALL the experiences that are coming my way when I embark on my adventure tomorrow. My cousin emailed me this morning and I will spending some time with her and her boyfriend outside London over the weekend and have learnt that the tube from Heathrow to Kings Cross is fairly simple… just 1 train the whole way… hehehe.. easy breazy! I even have an Oyster card that my sister’s roomate has allowed me to borrow. Everything is lining up perfectly and I am excited as the hours draw closer to my departure…. as for handling my home sickness well… I have a confession to make… I am bringing my laptop with me so that I can use skype to videocall both Nicholas and Hannah almost daily. Nicholas is 13 and he is very excited for me and wants me to call him everywhere I go and I am just as excited to share my adventures with him along the way!
Well, here I come… London Eye, Buckingham, British Museum, Glasgow, Edinburgh, Invenerness, Belfast, Giants Causeway, Belfast Zoo, Rope Bridge, Castles, New Friends, New Adventures, Inner Soul Searching and everything wonderful that the universe has in store to be sent my way in all it’s glorious beauty… only great things for me this time and a trip that I was always remember and hold so dear to my heart to last a lifetime!
Hugs to all- I’ll try to write all my crazy adventures as I need to share them (even the silly ones!) with someone
P.S. Man alive.. packing ONLY 1 (only 1) backpack for 19 days is tough tough tough! I’ve tried to leave room for my purchases from Primark and other cool places and of course I still haven’t figured out how I am going to live with only 1 pair of ballerina flats and 1 pair of running shoes for 19 days! My goodness- tough tough tough.. LOL.. Yes, I know how much of a girl I just sounded there, but SERIOUSLY!!!! xx